what the Lord will see me through in this life. i can feel myself changing, every day there is something new to test me and the character that i am trying to develop. over these last weeks i've spent hours in both a mental and sometimes physical fetal position pleading with God for help, for the substitution of the Atonement to protect me from the heartache i feel. i am amazed always at the peace that prayer will bring. faith opens our eyes making the sunshine seem brighter, the air crisper and the possibilities of the future less foreboding. this is the time for me to learn patience and to rely on the Lord, not on myself. one of my favorite quotes says, "want to make God laugh? tell him your plans." we don't get to control everything in life. there are things we will deal with that are out of our hands. paths are formed by the choices we make, but more importantly, they are molded by our Heavenly Father. burdens aren't usually lifted right away, mine never are, but they will be removed. our hearts will become stronger and we will be able to cope with trials more effectively. it's hard to realize that the world isn't what we want it to be. we aren't in control. i don't want to be forgotten, but i know that there is nothing i can do. the only thing i have power over is my ability to follow the will of God and rely on Christ for peace, while waiting patiently for whatever will come next.
ps. i miss feeling like nothing could bring me down and having faith in love.
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