it's a monday, the last one of my first, and last, spring semester in rexburg. here i am, sitting on the couch having just finished a essay for my religion final and i'm relaxing, and procrastinating by reading other friends blogs. it's interesting, wondering who's reading your thoughts from afar as you read the musings of others.
to whom it may concern: i love other people's music. often times, because it becomes my own thanks to their enlightenment. i have entirely too much time to think about life lately- i've realized that i don't make sense- not to myself or to anyone else. God is probably the only one who understands me. and for that i'm grateful. I'm also grateful for the experiences in my life- really i am, all of them. i realize that my writing always has a little bit of a jaded tint to it- just so any potential readers are aware- i really am happy right now. despite all the hard things in life- i am HAPPY. i am happy on my own, i'm OK with not knowing what will happen in the future (mostly ok with it...i do wonder though...what is in store. making me kind of anxious to find out soon).
i have so many memories that are triggered by musical notes- 1901 by Phoenix is doing that for me right now. It's a funny thing- those 'what if's'. I have quite a few rolling around in my head right now. My heart is thumping along in my body and restlessness is dancing around on all my senses. i find it odd to be realizing right now that my attempt to clear up one of those BIG "what if's" i have created another one. JSYK- i wish i could follow that new what if's path. I don't regret my choices because i know that everything happens for a reason, but i do wish i could have another go at that what if. who knows, maybe i will. i hope so.
this blog post hardly makes sense to me, i know no one else will get it.
haha. life is grand- it really is. :) i'm just not always a cheery typer- but talk to me face to face- or voice to voice at least and you'll see, i'm happy :)
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