life as of now

these last few months have been extremely trying for me on a thousand different levels. but i'm so proud of myself because i am making it through. i've been taking things one step at a time with a few steps a day. its so strange, standing here about to cross the first of many "thresholds of life".

i'm just so grateful to be who i am. to have the family i do and to know what it feels like to love. i love so many different components of my life and feel blessed every night that i kneel down to pray. i am so grateful that i am faithful enough to be a foundation of sorts for those around me. and i can't thank them enough for doing the same for me.

i've never thought that i would be hurt the way i have, but i have overcome it and will continue to until i can look back and feel like it doesn't have a great affect on my life or future after all.

don't get me wrong, there isn't a day that has gone by that i haven't thought about all of it. that i haven't been filled with anger or truly deep sorrow. but the time spent feeling that way is lessening and the moments filled with happiness last longer and longer.

i am young and have a bright future ahead of me, i have dreams and i truly hope that they will come true.
but for now, i'm trusting that whatever is supposed to happen, will.

forgiveness is a gift and a blessing, and with practice i plan to be skilled at it.
but for now, i'm leaving it in God's hands.

there are just so many things in my heart right now.
i'm excited and hopeful.