well i'm not gonna put them on here, in case a certain someone is reading. haha, but i doubt they are. but i guess, one of the things that is on my mind is whether or not making a prediction for the year is like setting a goal. i say that they aren't exactly the same, but maybe a little bit since you're thinking about the future and what might happen. but the biggest difference between a prediction and a goal is that you have some kind of say in the outcome of the goals.
i made a few predictions, but they aren't ones that i have any control over. i hope a few come true, but all i can do is sit and wait them out, which is something i don't like to do. i hate waiting and i usually hate sitting, especially when i don't know how long it will feel like i'm waiting. i guess it's time i just work on myself, and hope and pray that my predictions won't have to be proven wrong. at least the important ones. (there are a few predictions i wouldn't mind being wrong though.)
i am so tired of making wishes that aren't going to come true, but i won't settle for wishing for things i don't really want. which leaves me in a really dark situation. why does it seem like nothing will be good enough?
one thing that i've realized in 2010, not that i hadn't already felt this way, is that life has no depth, excitment, real feeling, smiles, plans for the future or peace without love. i know it sounds cheesy or cliche but i really feel the truth in that idea. because i feel it in my life right now. everything seems lackluster and overshadowed by the sadness i feel.
it's amazing how you never really get used to the absence of someone you love in your life. the missing never goes away and it never sits right in your heart or stomach.
there's just too much on my mind. i wish that i didn't care sometimes...but what is the point of living if you don't take a risk?
No comments:
Post a Comment